The following is an exert from my new book, My Mom is a Big Fat Whale: A New Workbook for Kids & Teens to Take the Power Back from Bullies, which teaches you how to make bullies think that picking on you is no fun and not worth the effort, just like the lesson you would learn from riding a roller coaster with no drops, twists, or turns.
The main reason why bullies pick on people can easily be explained by thinking about it in terms of a roller coaster ride.
Before the ride even starts, we have the expectation that we will be faced with steep slopes and exciting drops several times throughout the ride. Our hearts start to race as the coaster goes up the first hill and we start to get excited.
For people who love roller coasters, the most thrilling part begins at the top of the hill and then continues as they speed through the downward drop. Our hearts barely have time to settle as we wait for the next slope or loop, and then the excitement resumes or may get even more intense when we hit the rest of the drops, twists, and turns.
When the ride is over, many people feel a sense of accomplishment, or a calming feeling of relief. Then they’re ready to do it again!
Here’s how it compares to a bully making fun of you.
As a bully approaches with intentions to hurt your feelings, he expects that you will respond in a way that easily shows that you are upset. This is like going up the first steep slope of a roller coaster. Just as we look forward to the thrill of the drop on a coaster, he looks forward to the thrill he gets from you responding in a negative way such as:
Once the bully makes his comment, this is when he is most excited; like being at the top of a peak on a roller coaster. He thinks he KNOWS, without a doubt, how the rest of the interaction will play out.
How would you feel if you got to the top of the first peak of a roller coaster and there was no big drop like you expected there to be?
What if it stayed flat for the rest of the ride?
Even worse, what if after a short, boring, flat ending at the top of the first peak, the coaster then went up another hill? Would your expectations change for this slope? Share your thoughts.
Then how would you feel if every slope after this kept leading to only flat, slow rails, AND THEN THE RIDE ENDS?
Sounds like a very boring ride, right? Would you want to go back for a second ride on this same coaster? Or a third? ____________________________________________________________________________________________
If you were asked to write a review of this roller coaster, what would you say?
Finally, would you recommend this ride to others? ____ YES ___ NO
This is exactly how a bully would feel if he doesn’t get the exciting reaction he expects when he tries to make a joke about you or your family. He expects to get a rush from getting you upset; but when his expectations are not met, it gets boring.
He may try a couple more times, like the 2nd and 3rd slopes on the boring coaster described above; but if the outcome is just as much of a disappointment as the first attempt, it will become even more clear to him that this ride is no fun (in other words, you are not a good target for bullying).
The techniques in my workbook, My Mom is a Big Fat Whale, will teach you how to make bullies think that picking on you is no fun and not worth the effort, just like the lesson you would learn from riding a roller coaster with no drops, twists, or turns.
Pick up your copy today by clicking on one of the following links!